Rest for the Weary
This entry is modified from a message given at an IF:Local in 2022.. You can see a video of that message HERE.
A few years ago, when my youngest daughter Juliet was in preschool she made me a Mother’s Day gift. It was one of those super cute questionnaires where your child guesses things like your age, your favorite color, etc. And her gift to me was as sweet as you’d expect from a 4 year old.
To the question, “How old is your mom?” she answered “12.”
To the question “What color are your mom’s eyes?” she answered “Rainbow.” It really was adorable.
But as I reading through the list, one answer hit me unexpectedly hard — the question was this: “If your mom could go anywhere in the world where would she go?” And my little Juliet answered, “If my mom could go anywhere in the world, she would go to bed.”
And of I course, I get it. It’s hilarious at first glance. I hope you’re smiling at the cuteness of it right now, but what hit me square in the chest that day was the truth of her words.
What Juliet didn’t know was at that time I was teetering on a the edge of a complete social and emotional shut-down. At a time where I was fielding what felt like repeated rejection from all sides, I came to place where I confused numbness with rest and isolation with comfort. I let an unhealthy love of a narrowly defined comfort zone cage me. I let it stamp out my voice and eclipse the call of God on my life to live boldly for his glory. I spent hours in bed. I struggled to attend any social function; I lost touch with friends and completely lost my joy of living. It wasn’t until I began to really wrestle with God’s word that I found a way out, and Juliet’s little questionnaire was the start my seeking change.
Matthew 11:28-30 is one such scripture that called me out:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I remember reading it and thinking these were the loveliest of words — like my soul could release a deep exhale even as I read them. Yet all too often we read this passage and we only hear the parts we want to. We read the invitation in the beginning and forget to read on.
We hear “Come you weary and burdened people and get some rest” and if you’re anything like me you’re suddenly mentally whisked away to the fuzzy blanket scented candle isle of TJ Maxx. You’re thinking “YES! JESUS! I want that. Sign me up! Whatever the spiritual equivalent to scented candles and fuzzy blankets is, I’m here for it.”
And while the invitation from Jesus is legit, what he’s talking about here is real rest. The kind that can’t be bought at TJ Maxx, but the kind that feeds your soul. It doesn’t just move you from a deficit back to zero, but energizes you and empowers you to move through life with the Holy Spirit walking with you, guiding your interactions with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
In the 21st century context we have confused rest with comfort, and have distorted both so far from what God intended them to be that we have made them idols. We’ve decided to seek rest and comfort as objects of our desire instead of the product of a relationship with Christ.
You may not be to the extreme I was the day my little Juliet accidentally called me out. You may simply be seeking comfort in distraction, online shopping, alcohol, other people’s opinions, you name it.
The problem here isn’t the symptom, but the cause. The problem is we forget read the whole passage. At that time in my life I was coming to Jesus asking for relief from my depression and anxiety. I was coming to him, feeling weary, burdened, alone and rejected. I was seeking the rest he promised, but I forgot to read the entire passage. We have to read on.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Jesus’ invitation to rest here isn’t a result of us just coming. It’s clearly the result of taking on his yolk. Of course this begs the question: What is a yoke? Technically it’s a cultural metaphor within a metaphor, so bear with me here. A traditional yoke is a curved wooden beam used between a pair of oxen to enable them to pull a load together. It allows one lead oxen to steer the direction of the other. A yolk In Jesus’ day also was an idiom that referred to the teaching of a specific rabbi or Jewish teacher. Every Rabbi in first century Rabbinical culture had a school of thought and a way of life; this was their yoke. You could tell who was apprenticed to a given rabbi by how their students interpreted scripture and lived their lives.
If we are looking for the true rest that will fill our souls — this is how Jesus is telling us we get there. We must approach Jesus not only as our creator, not only as a savior, but also as our teacher. We must learn from him, and allow what we learn to transform our hearts and minds.
“If we want the fruit of the Spirit Jesus experienced, we most do the things Jesus did. Essentially, we must adopt His yoke, or way of life.” —John Mark Comer
This means we must memorize Jesus’ words, unpack how they relate to our lives, and then do something about it.
In Romans 12:1-2, Paul writes, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
The offering of our bodies isn’t just in regard to sexual morality — it is in regard to our day-to-day lives. Have you ever noticed how often Jesus retreated to solitude to be with the Father? Have you ever noticed Jesus’ ability to recite and reference scripture. This came from a place of experience and deep meditation. These are pieces of what it means to be under his yolk.
Now you might be like what a minute; this does NOT sound like rest. This sounds a lot like WORK. And guess what? You’re right. We have to keep reading:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yolk is easy and my burden is light.”
Jesus tells us his burden is light: Have you ever stopped to think about the burden of following Jesus? He is clear that our faith will cost us. The promise is that it will be worth it.
When we consider burden of following Jesus the takeaway for us is twofold: Before Christ, we had the burden of ourselves — it was our sin and separation from God. And it was HEAVY. I could have drown in that shame; it was so great a weight to bear. He lifted my burden when I placed my faith in him. But now that I am in Christ I’ve traded my burden for his. It is so much lighter than all that I was trying to carry on my own. Jesus’ burden is this: love God, love people.
And while this sounds simple, it is not easy. Loving God takes obedience, intentionality and surrender. It takes time with him in his word and in the quiet just like Jesus did. It takes letting go of anything you are holding on to tighter than him: Addiction, bitterness, blame, pride, being right, and I dare say, even your comfort.
Loving others takes awareness of both yourself and other people. It takes grace and forgiveness, and a willingness to be interrupted in your day. It takes risk, to put yourself out there to be rejected, even when you’ve been rejected before. It takes making mistakes, and it takes sometimes showing up and accidentally making it weird because you’re socially awkward (I’m totally pointing at myself right now).
I’m certainly not saying you have to let everyone in. We are allowed safe people and unsafe people in our lives. But I am saying we do have to love them anyway. Especially when it’s hard. Loving others is not optional in Christ’s kingdom — living in community with other believers is a command for our good and more importantly, his glory.
So here’s what made the difference for me those years ago, here is the thing that finally got me out of bed: I decided to pick up Christ’s burden and I decided to choose bravery.
Bravery is not the absence of fear; it’s being afraid and showing up anyway.
Sometimes following Jesus requires exactly this. If we want real rest for our souls then we need to redefine our ideas of rest and comfort. Our comfort needs to be found in knowing we are acting within the will of God for our lives. Our rest should be one of abiding in Christ as we carry his burden in obedience and bravery. We can’t love God unless we take the risk of experiencing him, and we can’t love others in room by ourselves. Jesus promises his true soul-level rest will result as we seek him, and he is always good on his promises.
